Drawing (O.o)

[sayinterry]

Well this is my first ever drawing i put effort into (i dont know if this belongs in this section since its not an anime but its a drawing based on anime)

I wish for reviews on the drawing since i have no confidence in my skills and my friends dont give honest answers.

Spoiler for First Drawing:

And i might actually attempt to finish some of my other drawings. I got this idea off of the train scenes in school days wheres katsura is reading a book.

EDIT: I forgot to add the hand drawn rough sketch

Can anyone give me some C&C plz? i wish to get better.

Omg i think i can write my own manga now i just need to hone my drawing and figure out the story for this script

Spoiler for Writing Script:

" In order to help Suzumiya Sakuya, a rich pampered girl, Suzuke Tomoyo had risked his life by saving her from delinquetes that had tried to abduct her. As a way of saying thanks, she had kissed him and left without saying her name. 1 year later, Suzuke Tomoyo had finally gotten into one of the best high schools in Hokkaido, Touyu Academy. While searching for his class, he had bumped into the girl he met 1 year ago, Suzumiya Sakuya, but also found out that they were both in the class 1-D. Their school life began and they were close friends. Until one day, a fire broke out at Sakuya's house and she had lost both her parents and all the money they had was stolen by her uncle. In order to help her, Tomoyo invites her to stay at his house. Although they had fun filled days, they had never noticed their developing feelings for each other. "

Please dont take credit for this script, i think i might make a manga out of this using the pen name Tey